turns

is it too soon for me to start taking turns? should I be going through love songs lyrics on my head already? I haven't had enough time to establish myself as me again since you left. I'm still stuck on the perfect curves your lips drew over mine, still stuck on the sound of your laugh, on the way that you smoke your cigarettes. everything you do is so genuine and gentle that I couldn't take my eyes off you for a single second. you got me so high that now I wonder if the things I said made me sound stupid. I'm already having panic attacks when I try to figure out if there was any kind of flaw in the things I talked about or in the way I acted. I'm frightened and I mean that in the best way possible. this is the feeling I love the most in the entire world: the good thrills - those ones that keep you going by scaring you and fulfilling you with happy thoughts at the same time. I'm willing to take this risk, 'cause I'm nowhere near done. and if things don't work out in the way I'm expecting them to, fuck that. I'm grateful either way. I haven't had such a pleasant afternoon as this in years.