sometimes sadness strikes me out of nowhere. I'm used to it. I get up and look ahead, carrying that bittersweet feeling on my lips. everyone knows I'm trying to move forward but that's kind of hard when you're being pushed back and forth towards different situations, different feelings, different needs. I'm getting so used to this never-ending cycle my life has become that nothing surprises me anymore. it feels like the element of surprise has been taken away from me and was replaced by skepticism. everyone that I meet is surrounded by this heavy glow, exhaling sickness all over the place. sometimes it feels like I'm tripping but most of the time I can't help but noticing and being completely absorbed into it's darkness. I try to run away from it. I try to run away from myself. but I can never succeed.
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