cut!

"each one of us had our own troubles. we'd sit and talk for hours in front of the tv, listening to some new dope shit album - mostly jay-z's - because the beat always fitted perfectly through our moments. I think that, for each one of us, those hours we used to spend together made us feel totally disconnected from the outside world. we weren't really adults, so we felt special for having a whole apartment just for us. there was something in the dirt and the mess we lived in that made us feel like home. it was kind of liberating never having to straight things out around the house, but you'd always trip and break a glass that was lying peacefully on some random part of the wood floor as you woke up at night to take a piss - it took me some time to get used to the idea that going back to sleep was always the right thing to do. guns were always firing up at four a.m. as the guys played call of duty with the tv volume at it's loudest frequency. the neighbors complained at first, but I guess they gave up on us and got used with our messy way of life. we'd rarely cook, but for me, it didn't really matter - I had already created the habit of smoking to make the hunger go away. Gabriel would eat all the food in the house, so I have to confess that sometimes we didn't have much to eat because of his greediness. but we always had cigarettes. I remember that our lives were pretty different at the time: Felipe had just come back from the U.S., while I was starting at this new shitty job. Gabriel was always mesmerized with São Paulo, even though he'd been living here for a while and Gabri was always tired from studying to get into uni - but when we decided to heat things up, he would never let us down. as for me, taking a look-back into our 'apartment days', I have to say I was pretty obnoxious. I was in a terrible mood sometimes, but even if I felt like killing one of them, I had two other ones who would always find a way to make me forget about sad or stressful things.  and of course, I had my share of good moods as well. Felipe, Gabriel and I would never hesitate in having a smoke at the balcony together. even if it was freezing cold, we'd put our jackets on, open the window and light up a cigarette while watching funny videos, or simply taking a look-over the other buildings and it's surroundings and gazing into the dark. I don't really know how to define the four of us back in the day. we were everything and once: dope, childish, poetical, fun. perhaps there are no right words to describe us all at once. we were this exquisite kind of group, four guys so different from each other. no word could sum us up. we were invincible."